Monday, June 28, 2010

My Very First Date; The Dating Disasters Commence

Every girl has a special fondness in her heart for the first boy she dated.  For me, that lucky bastard was Kyle.  Though we went to the same high school, Kyle was a year ahead of me and we never had any classes together.  Therefore, we did not become properly acquainted until summer camp.  Yes, I am among the millions who found love (or at least flirtation galore) at summer camp.  I spent the week swooning over Kyle and his neon green electric guitar.  I giggled when he tried to teach me to play some chords.  My heart went pitter-pat when he sat down next to me at the dinner table and during games of keep-away in the pool. 

So after that week of camp I did what any self-respecting 16 year-old girl both obsessed with and terrified by the opposite sex would do: I emailed Kyle.  Luckily, there was an inside-joke from camp about asking someone out via email, providing me with the perfect opportunity to appear adorably ironic.  The email in question looked something like this:

Hi Kyle,
I had a lot of fun getting to know you at camp.  Would you like to go on a date with me?

Check: [yes]   [no]      or          [never email me again]

Corny as hell?  You betcha!  But I knew my audience and held fast to the possibility that it just might work.  A few hours later my Juno account was hit with a reply from Kyle:

Check: [ X ]    [no]     or           [never email me again]

Score one for little ole me!  My first attempt at asking out a boy since the 5th grade was met with success!  The next day Kyle called to plan our date.  A date!  A real date!  I thought that was something only DJ Tanner had the luxury to experience.  In keeping with the feeling that I was suddenly living a sitcom, my 7 year-old brother found it necessary to pick up the phone receiver in a different room of the house and chant “She loves you, Kyle!  She loves you, Kyle!”  Kyle, being the gentleman that I am sure he still is, took my pesky little brother’s teasing rather well, laughing it off and agreeing to pick me up on Friday.  And ladies and gentlemen, let me assure you that Kyle had a hot little red car.  I was beyond ecstatic.  And scared to death. 

The plan was for Kyle to pick me up and we would then decide where to go for dinner before hitting the movies.  Assuming he would ask me where I'd like to eat, I made sure to have several options in mind for him to choose from.  My older sister even gave me the list of what one should and should not eat on a date (to account for as little as possible chance of embarrassing spills, food stuck in teeth or bad breath).  One of the number one no-nos was pizza, for while it may seem simple enough, pizza can quickly become disasterous! Tomato sauce stains, oregano in your teeth, garlic breath... But alas, Kyle was hungry for pizza, so pizza it was.  I am happy to say that I believe I performed well and escaped unscathed by food-induced embarrassment.

There was, however, an awkward moment at dinner when Kyle remarked that he had not been on a date in a while.  Seeing this as my opportunity to provide an excuse for my nerves, I replied by saying, "Don't worry about it!  This is my first date ever!"  And while Kyle seemed flattered that he was the subject of my very first date, that comment set the tone for what was to come: As a newbie to the world of dating, I just didn't know how I was supposed to act.

Pizza was followed by a venture to The Perfect Storm.  I harbored a secret wish that Kyle would put his arm around me or hold my hand, but was equally relieved when he failed to do so.  He then drove me home and walked me to the door, at which point I invited him inside.  After all, that's exactly what DJ Tanner would have done.  We chatted with my parents in the living room for a while before moving into the family room to watch tv.  Just Kyle and me.  The two of us.  ALONE.  In my house the family room was cut off from the rest of the house, so we had total privacy.  Given this fact, I did not want to appear as though I was throwing myself at Kyle or coming on too strong.  So while he made himself comfortable on the sofa, I chose a seat on the other side of the room.

I'm an idiot, I know.

We watched an episode of Alf I had on VHS (because I am just that awesome) and then Kyle prepared to leave.  I walked him to the front door, thanked him for a lovely evening, he told me I looked pretty and then he left and I closed the door behind him.  My parents were watching from the living room: "Why didn't you walk him to his car?" and "Maybe you can still catch him!  He won't kiss you with us sitting here!  Go!"  But I didn't.  I had made my umpteenth mistake of the evening and chasing Kyle out to his hot little red car would only make things worse.  In trying to appear interested while maintaining my distance, I had ruined the perfect opportunity for a first kiss or second date.

Or so I thought.

Several weeks later I came home from school and found Kyle's hot little red car parked in my driveway.  

(To Be Continued... I'm afraid you won't finish reading if this post gets any longer.  Tune in next time for another installment of "My Very First Date")

1 comment:

  1. HA! I love this post! Can't wait for the next installment!