Thursday, May 29, 2014

Exes & Whys take on Sexual Violence

As you may have noticed, I don't post much anymore.  But recent events have got me thinking and so I give you a more serious take on men and women than my previous posts have offered:

I have a lot of things I want to say and I'm not quite sure where to start, so bear with me here. The recent violence carried out by Elliot Rodger has got me thinking, as well as articles written about him/violence against women in general. Here's a good editorial I just finished reading that's pretty amazing:

But here's the thing. First of all, it's not just women that experience sexual violence, but I agree that's the most prevalent type of sexual violence.

And it's not just men who are enraged because their romantic advances are constantly ignored or turned down.

I feel like I have an interesting perspective here, because I have been treated extremely poorly by men, turned down and dumped, date raped, and abused, physically and emotionally. I have a lot of rage toward the opposite sex, but it's not violent in nature. And also, I really love the opposite sex and know I've had the misfortune of meeting a lot of the less savory members of the gender.

But I have also turned down men. I have been pursued and asked out by men that I just wasn't interested in for whatever reason, sometimes reason unknown even to me. I have been turned down by men and I have turned men down. But I have never physically hurt a man (even when I probably should have).

I also understand mental illness. It kind of runs in my family. And I have been treated at various times in my life for OCD, anxiety, and depression. So I know how the hopelessness of that feels, but realize that it's a more extreme mental illness that causes someone to carry out such a heinous crime. So no, I don't really understand it to that degree.

It's not just women who are abused. It's not just men who are angry because they've been dumped or it seems no one wants to date them. Also, women are hurt by women and men are hurt by men. This is not a gender-specific issue.

But yes, yes to #yesallwomen, because we have to start somewhere and I think focusing on the most commonly seen form of sexual violence is a damn good place to start. Let's start by teaching our boys not to rape instead of teaching our girls to be on the lookout for rapists everywhere they go. And let's make sure to just always treat everyone with kindness, umkay? Because that's pretty damn important, too.

If you read all this, thanks. I just kind of felt compelled to share. And you know what? I feel a little bit better now.