Saturday, December 8, 2012

Grabbing a Spoon

Seven months after my breakup, I’m totally ready to move on.  It was a gradual process, comprised of throwing photographs and ticket stubs away one month, deleting his number from my phone another month, finding a cute boy to flirt with the next.  Baby steps.  And now I’m ready to grab a spoon!  Two, actually. 

I didn’t plan to follow up my Dharma & Greg post with a Friends post, but sometimes romcom tv shows can teach us a lot about relationships and provide metaphors that are easily relatable to real life.  “Grabbing a spoon” is how Joey (in his lovable, promiscuous way) motivates Ross to move on after his divorce from Carol.  Carol was vanilla, and vanilla was great, but now it’s time to try some new flavors; see what else is out there!

So a couple weeks ago I grabbed a spoon.  For the first time in ten years, I gave a guy my phone number without the aid of liquid confidence.  It was a guy I had talked to on a few occasions and he seemed flirtatious, so I made a move.  He never called, but it was empowering just to take that step after so much time.  It was the first time in over a year I was interested in a new person and that alone felt pretty good, but since I had nothing invested in the new guy and don’t have to see him again, I suffered no loss.

And then, earlier this week, I went on my first actual date since the breakup.  And it was really, really great.  The guy was someone I talked to for several minutes at pub trivia the week before and asked me for my number which, like, never happens.  So that was awesome and empowering as well and I realized that now that I’m no longer wallowing, I’m displaying confidence that others might find appealing.  So the date went really well, the guy and I have been chatting all week, we’re going out again next week, and… who knows?  Maybe it will be something, maybe it won’t, but at this point I again have nothing to lose.  Sure, I like him a lot so far, but how much can you really tell from one date?  I used to think a lot could be told, but it’s time to take a step back and just let things happen. 

I’m trying to do something I have NEVER done before: have fun when dating!  It’s an entirely new concept to me.  So I’m going to keep on grabbing spoons and see what is out there that I haven’t yet experienced.  I’ll admit, it’s a little scary, but I encourage others to do the same.  But be careful, because there are some pretty crazy flavors out there, especially if you’re browsing the Ben & Jerry’s section of the freezer aisle!  And stay away from nuts.