Wednesday, April 21, 2010

After inviting Chris upstairs, we are soon joined by Charlie

Chris was the first guy I went out with after dating Eric seriously, off and on, for over a year. We met up at a bar, as is custom, and I dare say that we really hit it off. We had a lot to talk about, many shared laughs, and things were going really well. Chris even gushed about how lucky he was to have met me and said he couldn't wait to introduce me to his mom. He went so far as to ask my permission before kissing me and invited me over for breakfast the next morning, promising to cook for me! Okay... not exactly typical first date behavior, but who was I to complain? This guy was totally into me! Was it possible that my very first date after a failed relationship could be "the one?"

No. No, it was absolutely not possible at all.

After hours of drinks and good conversation, Chris walked me home. I invited him up because it seemed like the right thing to do (besides, he was such a gentleman), but really had no further expectations. I have never invited a guy back to my apartment after a first date before or since, and I'm not really sure why I did on this particular occasion. However, Chris accepted my invitation and soon we were on the sofa. Call it the drinks, call it the hormones, call it the crazy attraction that I was sure would unite me with Chris for the rest of eternity, but soon neither Chris nor myself were wearing clothing.

Cue Charlie. Charlie is my neighbor's cat that sometimes wanders in through the window. Charlie slinked through the living room, but we paid no mind. Cue Jordan. Jordan is my neighbor, Charlie's owner. Jordan stuck his head in through the window, looking for Charlie. Chris and I sprang up from our spots on the sofa, and huddled together in a corner, as far from the window as we could get. Jordan asked if anyone had seen Charlie. I replied that, yes, I had seen Charlie come through. Jordan then proceeded to make small talk: "Hi! I'm Jordan. Are you new here? I'm sorry we haven't met before. Where are you? Why can't I see you? Where's my cat?" etc. I excused myself to retrieve Charlie and somehow managed to pass him back through the window to Jordan without him realizing I was naked. Apparently I have some pretty fucking awesome curtains.

Despite the unusual events, I was thankful for Charlie for intervening before Chris and I got too "carried away." Chris tried to weasel an invitation to spend the night out of me, but a girl has to draw the line somewhere! A guy won't return your calls if you put out on a first date!  I remembered his breakfast invitation and showed up at his apartment the next morning as promised. He seemed surprised to see me, but we watched a movie together (Seven -- very romantic) and he made me eggs. I left in the early afternoon, feeling as though we had just enjoyed a successful second date, but despite a couple attempts to contact Chris, I never heard from him again. Was it the cat? Was it me? Was it the whole sequence of events? Apparently my chastity didn't make a difference. I think the take-home message here is this: Never leave a window screen open when it looks onto a fire escape and a cat lives next door.

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