The Break-Up Email

Last January I dated Jimmy.  He was incredibly fun and I loved spending time with him, but it was very apparent that there was no "spark" on either end and we were both just killing time.  After four dates, Jimmy decided to call it quits for fear he would break my poor, fragile heart if he continued to lead me on.  I was not heartbroken.  I was not sad.  After all, we'd only gone on four dates and I had already made it clear to him that I also was just having a good time, not looking for a serious relationship with him.  Nevertheless, he sent me a lengthy "break-up" email:


". . .I don't want you to think you did anything wrong or that i'm trying to avoid you . . . You're a great chick, I have a good time with you, but I just don't feel that special spark that i'm gonna need in order to sacrifice my time enough to make this a regular thing. I apologize  if i'm not making sense. i'm a writer  with an ability to articulate. I'm just bad at this. so i'll leave now before blabbering on trying to find a better way to convey my thoughts . . . i'm pretty sure you'll never meet anyone quite like me, and hopefully my presence in your life will have the same type of positive impact it has seemed to have on almost anyone i've gotten to know."


A bit presumptuous?  Don't get me wrong, I liked Jimmy.  He was tons of fun and very cute in that "I'm an adorable little Hobbit" way... but I definitely wasn't crushed by his decision to pull the plug on our gallivanting.  I also can't say that our four dates influenced my life in any way, positive or negative.  


Jimmy also supplied me with a list of 20 "life-changing" songs that he encouraged me to listen to.  It seems a waste to keep them to myself (I must say, there are some gems in this little playlist):


New Order - Age of Consent
Phoenix - Too Young
Radiohead - Ideoteque
Blur - Trimm Trabb
Pixies - Here Comes Your Man
T Rex - The Street And Babe Shadow
Velvet Underground - Femme Fatale
Afghan Whigs - Be Sweet
Animal Collective - My Girls
Neutral Milk Hotel - In The Aeroplane Over The Sea
Cocteau Twins - Lorelei
Pulp - Common People
Built to Spill - Else
Explosions in the Sky - Welcome, Ghosts
Jesus & The Mary Chain - Darklands
My Bloody Valentine -  Sometimes
Nada Surf - Inside of Love
Pavement - Spit on a Stranger
Sigur Ros - Inní Mér Syngur Vitleysingur
Sonic Youth - Total Trash
Spoon - The Underdog
Tom Waits - Cold Cold Ground
The Veils - The Leavers Dance
The Walkmen - The Rat
Wrens - Thirteen Grand
The Zombies - Care of Cell 44