Monday, April 30, 2012

What NOT to say to someone who has just been dumped

It's been a week since Nate broke up with me and the wound is still fresh. Friends and family have rallied around me to cheer me up and offer comforting words, and while in most cases they have proven very helpful, they've also succeeded in providing me with a new blog post: what NOT to say to someone who has just been dumped.

"You'll find somebody ten times better."
- Better is not the point. Ryan Gosling could ask me to marry him right now and I wouldn't accept. I don't want better; I want Nate. I want what I had. That's what was perfect and made me the happiest I've ever been in my life.

"It's Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all."
- Is it? Really? I disagree. Had I known it would end like this, I would have walked away eight months ago and never fallen in love with him in the first place.

"You will be happy again."
- Duh. The point is that I'm not happy now.

"Finding true love takes time."
- How much longer will it take? I thought maybe 28 years was long enough.

"You must first love yourself before someone else can love you."
- I do love myself! I think I'm fucking wonderful. Yet I'm still waiting for someone to love me...

"On the bright side, you can still be friends."
- Oh, so we can hang out and laugh and have a great time and do everything we used to do, except have sex? Yeah, that sounds really awesome. Not to mention I'll have to sit around and watch when he finds someone new. Sounds like a real party.

"At least it's not just you. The success rate for relationships is really, really low. Almost nobody stays together anymore!"
- Wow. Just... wow. Extremely encouraging.

There are, however, some words that have actually made me feel better this past week, and I thank my friends whole-heartedly who have been there for me and said these kind things:

"That fool just lost the best thing he ever had."
- Damn straight.

"You weren't too good for him, but you were far too good for the situation."
- Ahh yes, I can't deny this. Being in a "medium-distance" relationship and stressing about the next time I'd get to see my boyfriend had definitely started to take its toll.

"I know it hurts that he didn't love you, but just remember that I have loved you for 19 years."
- Friends that have stuck around since I was a chubbster wearing stirrup leggnings are the best.

I can assure you that, for the most part, when someone has been dumped, all she/he wants to hear is how much life sucks. And it does suck. A lot, sometimes. But my week of mourning is over and now it's time to let the wound begin scabbing.  I know, I know... scabs are really gross and generally unwated, but that's how I view the process of healing from a break-up.  No one really wants to go through that, either.  I could also form an analogy about how even after the wound heals the scar remains, but... maybe I'll leave that extreme corniness for a future post.  Deal with it.

HAPPY 50th BLOG POST TO ME!  Thanks for reading :)

2 comments:

  1. Honestly, he DOESN'T know what he lost, love. Really.

    I haven't found a chance to talk to you since I read your first entry about it but if you need anything, let me know, really.

    As for what you wrote here ---

    "Finding true love takes time."
    - How much longer will it take? I thought maybe 28 years was long enough.

    "You must first love yourself before someone else can love you."
    - I do love myself! I think I'm fucking wonderful. Yet I'm still waiting for someone to love me...


    Oh I feel that way all the time :/ I should do a post about things not to say to chronically single girls ... they would absolutely include these two, too.

    HUGS. We'll go drinking asap, yes?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Love and hugs from 2.5 Nicols.

    ReplyDelete