Thursday, February 3, 2011

OK Cupid Hall of Shame Part #3

I disabled my OK Cupid profile today for a number of reasons.  Mostly, I'm tired of the annoying emails and less than stellar "matches."  But also, those little internet algorithms actually succeeded in finding me someone whose presence I enjoy so instead of continuing my search, I'm content for the moment to sit back and see what happens... but as I don't write about men I'm currently dating, that's all you're getting for now.  To mark this momentous occasion, let's take a look at some awesome messages I have received recently from OK Cupid's Most Ineligible Bachelors.

You definitely look hot, but unfortunately I only date black girls.
...That works out pretty well for us because I tend not to date pricks.

Why don't you like dogs? Seriously?
...Nowhere on my profile did I state that I don't like dogs (but to be fair, I do prefer cats).  

I am a 31/m from NJ. I am a paid/ volunteer firefighter/emt. I am currently pursuing a career in law enforcement as well. I am a very atletic person. It's nice to meet you! What is your name? I am interested in getting to know you better as well. I have three tattoos as well. love kids as well! i ALSO ENJOY SHOPPING! I ALSO LIKE NYC. I ALSO ENJOY MUSIC! I ALSO LIKE TRAVELING AND ROMANCE! I am a good heart guy that is genuine and knows how to treat a lady. WOULD YOU LIKE TO EXCHANGE PHONE NUMBERS AND CHAT ON THE PHONE!

Sounds like you have nothing to lose by accepting a date with me.
...With all due respect, I think I have a lot to lose.  Here is a short list of things that I regret losing on dates: My temper, my self-respect, $60, a contact lens and my virginity.

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